I do have a nemesis. His name is Andy Edwards and I haven’t heard from him in a while. He is a lovely person; works as a dramaturg and the only reason he became my nemesis is because he started a blog about dramaturgy. I believe that I own the concept of dramaturgy. That an intelligent person was working in the same area made me nervous and his charm and wit makes him a perfect foil to my curmudgeonly bitterness. But I can’t find him. I need a new Fringe nemesis.
So I am recruiting. You are a Daily Mail reader – or even better, a theatre critic for a national newspaper. You are funny, but hold obnoxious views about women, global majorities, and queer identity. In fact, you have just got angry about the phrase ‘global majorities’ and think that gay was a fine word until the homosexuals got hold of it. You can’t hate women because your mother and/or wife was one. People take banter too seriously theses days. And Sian Clarke’s Icon, which I saw yesterday, is your personal hell. It is abrasive, almost anti-theatre with its relentless deconstruction of performance tropes and interludes of feminist and left-wing complaints. She even makes a cup of tea with oat milk, so she’s probably a vegan. It just won’t compromise on the nihilism, will it?
Although you liked that bit when she got in a suitcase and did a dance.
If you think you can fill this role, please come up to me in the street and start talking at me. Pick the topic. Make sure that I know how important you are. You won’t be familiar with my work, but if you can match my name-dropping, or make me jealous of your public recognition, it is gravy. An ability to thrive in a party environment is a plus: last night, I didn’t even manage to tell my joke about how I used to be important more than three times.
Timewasters should most definitely apply.
In other news, yesterday I saw Sharon and Reuben of SM Publicity, and the press team at Summerhall and Storytelling PR. They all had to indulge my nonsense for a hour or two, which must have just flown by for them. It’s not like they had anything more pressing to do than hear my ‘I have a new app to help me sleep’ monologue. Big shout out to the publicity people.
I also met Nikki, who used to let me stay in his house during the Fringe when we both worked on the List. I think those routines are coming together, as he smiled slightly at the one about e-tickets.
Let me close with another announcement. My solo show, You’re Wrong Night is now open for bookings. It shares a concept with Icon, in that it blames the audience when things don’t work. If you would like an insight into the practice of a critic – and that is a USP on the Fringe – it’s five minutes over coffee at a time and place of your convenience. I have one hilarious story about Fringe legends Ontroerend Goed.
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