A Gefilte Fish Out of Water
by Stacey Haber & Jack Lee
A comedic exploration of the prejudices described by David Baddiel in his book Jews Don’t Count, and how recipes brought a family’s tradition and histories alive.
In London, writer Stacey Haber was a gefilte fish out of water; in Hampshire she was Moses, wandering in the desert of suburbia to find a synagogue for her sons to be Bar Mitzvah’d. Throughout it all the foods and traditions of her family kept her going, both as fuel and as the touch-point of her identity, and her anchor. Often the only Jew in the village, and with her children the only Jews at the table, she created a community of Jewish tradition with others of different faiths. Along the way there was much laughter and a few tears.
To preserve her family recipes which were only ever orally passed down or scraps of faded paper she wrote a cookbook, A Gefilte Fish Out of Water where each recipe carried the story of the person who told her the tale of its ingredients. It quickly became apparent that these foods carried the love and humour that had strengthened and preserved her people for centuries.
C aquila, Roman Eagle Lodge, 2 Johnston Terrace, EH1 2PW, venue 21
2 to 13 August 2023 at 13:45 (0hr45)
Theatre (Comedy, Storytelling, Spoken word, Political, Cookery) (recommended for ages 8+)
I'm fascinated by the idea that you created a Jewish real experience with people of other faiths. I'd really like to hear a bit more about how that was, and whether this became a place for what you might call interfaith dialogue?
I’ve been going to churches as a tourist, friend of the clergy, person in search of a faith environment since the early 80s. Whether it’s the architecture, stained glass or need for a spiritual vibe I am drawn to places of worship and always drawn into dialogues about the similarities and differences with Judism. As for holidays and feasts, my friends were always invited to my mother’s table so I never knew that other people didn’t do it. I grew up in a NYC apartment complex where all faiths lived side by side.
I didn’t even understand there was a difference until I was 5 and some of my friends went to Catholic school instead of the local elementary school at the end of the road. Food and wine always lead to dialogue so there’s never a lull in the conversation be it about religion, ethnicity or recipes. I even started a podcast between my rabbi and my daughter’s father-in-law, a CofE vicar. They discuss our similarities and differences. It’s called The Rev & The Rev. Interfaith dialogue is merely dialogue. The faith just trickles in. The book which you mentioned in the press release – I can't imagine how white speech to text is going to translate David Baddiel (there we go, this time it got it right!). Anyway, what was it about this book that made you inspired to respond to it in this way?
“Jews Don’t Count” by David Baddiel made me question my own behaviour and I didn’t like what I felt. I shied away from calling out antisemitisms the same way I shied away from bad co-worker behaviour before #MeToo. It also made me take a closer look at the people I wasn’t confronting. The excuses to myself were usually ’not worth losing my career over’, ‘did I misunderstand the tone or intent?’ or ‘let it go and it’s over.’ Of course it was never over, I didn’t misunderstand and it wasn’t my career that would have been jeopardised.
I was just frightened of the hate. This show, “A Gefilte Fish Out of Water” is part atonement, part dialogue catalyst and part admonition. Baddiel’s right, we can’t allow any low level murmur or outright spew of racism because it escalates exponentially. If we don’t tamp down the low level, we are telling the perpetrator it’s ok. It is not ok. And they should not be emboldened to think it is. We certainly can’t let the loud spewers continue unchallenged. It is our responsibility to yell back. Especially with donuts for fortification. Every religion and ethnicity has a donut recipe. This is probably expressed a little less delicate action needs to be, but do you feel it is important to reassert Jewish identity in the modern context (by which I think I mean, the rise of bigotry and prejudice, and that idea that Jewishness is once again becoming something that people are okay about expressing prejudice towards)?
Yes and no. Yes that it is important to be able to reassert and defend one’s faith and identity. It’s irrelevant whether it’s Jewish, Muslim, Jedi or Atheist. No if it means that you have to tear down anyone else’s belief. Being a person of faith is not an excuse to denounce others or cause divide. The rise of bigotry and prejudice isn’t really about religion, it’s about blaming someone else for one’s own failings.
Oppressing women is about power not gender. Blaming Jews for one's own ability to succeed in Hollywood is about that person’s failure. Blaming all the Jews for Adolf being a terrible artist is about one man’s shortcomings. Blaming the Democrats in the US for unskilled white men not getting high paying management jobs is not about politics, it’s about them being unskilled and being promised something they haven’t earned by the biggest liar the world’s met in our lifetime. The rise of bigotry and prejudice has always been about the inadequacy of the hater. Does your comedy sit within any particular tradition: I notice it is a combination of stand-up and sketch, but I'm wondering are there any artists in particular that you feel an affinity with?
Alex Horne and Greg Davies are front and centre of my comedy heart. I love the humility and self-deprecation of Alex Horne because I know he’s always the smartest man in the room. His message is always clear because he’s easy to watch and listen to. The lawyer in me though loves to let my inner Greg Davies loose and to get loud (even if I can’t say it with a straight face) and drive my point home. And his humour is also self-aware and unforgiving. I can’t state my case if I’m deluded.
So I see myself as I am, not as I wish I were. They do that without apology and I respect the hell of them. Other true heroes include Phyllis Diller, Jo Brand and Sarah Millican. Women who didn’t chase physical perfection and didn’t apologise for their imperfections. They were/are just funny and embrace the funny things about themselves, as well as the world around them. I’m also a fan of George Carlin who said what he thought knowing abuse was coming. I’m not trying to provoke abuse, only dialogue.
And finally John Lloyd, comedy producer legend. One of only two times I was tongue tied was meeting him (the other was meeting music supervisor Kevin Edelman). I’ve been on the legal team of musical superstars and never had a twinge so a TV producer might seem like an odd choice but his nose for funny is flawless. And finally the inevitable one: what are you hoping to experience at the Edinburgh fringe?
I want to hear, gasps of breath, murmurs of ‘oh yeah’ and lots of dialogue as people leave the theatre, well into the street and down the Royal Mile. Although it wouldn't be the worst thing if Channel 4 decided there was a TV show to be had or that I would be a great guest for Taskmaster… :)
Written and Produced by | Stacey Haber and Jack Lee
Based on the cookbook of the same name by Stacey Haber
Cast | Jack Lee, Maddy Devine and Stacey Haber
Directed by | Beth Duddy
Paintings and Photos by | Stacey Haber
Poster Design | Helene Aarak
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